Dream- mama
Well, this post is like fresh right from the oven because i just woke up minutes ago with this seriously sad and happy dream... Okay here goes!
I don't know since when that I've been going to this old HDB flat to see mama lying on the bed and seem so lifeless. Sometimes I still can see the trails left behind by tears on her face. Since when did mum and dad become strangers. Since when? How come I don't know? But when I knew it.. I still kept my mouth shut
It was depressing! Every time I go to see mama, mama will bring me down to the food court and eat nice cuisines! And she will also be enjoying her time with me! That was like heaven and the most precious time with mama... Always when we go back to mama's apartment, I'll see this young girl (supposing my step younger sister) looking at me with these pair of glaring and carnivorous look... But I knew that I have mama and so I'm not afraid of her jealous stares ... At the same time daddy will be down at the carpark waiting for me to go home .
Then there was this once that I know that it's the last time I can see her...
We did our same routine, get nice food to munch but this time, she bought one pack of fries for me and said to share it with daddy... I was kinda shocked because it is since so long that she mentioned "daddy" I thought that she forgotten all abt him...
Then , it was a rainy day and I was on my way to daddy's car. Mama brought me down and said " here goes, bye bye?" holding back something that seems like tears, she smiled :)
Then I asked a question "mama, do you don't love us already?"
Then mama replied" no silly, I still love you! But then it's just that I can't go back to that home anymore... But don't worry, even though I'm not with you , you knowing that I love you is enough. Here, go to daddy"
I was confused by her answer but yet satisfied, I don't know that the droplets on my face was rainwater or tears but mama just gently sweep her ring finger across my face and said " silly girl, there is no use crying. Tell you what, I won't be gone forever! But if you truly love me. Then I love you too! I hope you remember that."
I stayed silent and let the sound of the rain overcome my ears. I don't want to go. I don't want to be separated from mama! I loved her !
I confirmed my doubts " so if I love you, I will know that you really love me.. So if we really love each other," my words choking at the tip of my throat as if it will burst any sooner, my articulations gone haywire but I still continued " then I need not worry about you forgetting me?" i completed my sentence. "yes my silly girl! " she replied. I hugged her long and tight. Trying to absorb and memorize this special body heat, this body shape and size which I love hugging.
I hid farewell and board daddy's car. I looked out of the window and saw mama still standing there ... I did the Korean heart shape pose with both arms and she replied with the same ... I stayed like that till my vision of her is gone.... Daddy asked me " so what did you eat today?" I said" nice stuff" and then I saw daddy's lips forming an awkward shape.. His hand constantly rubbing his eyes and then covering his mouth... Looking for the first time daddy crying , I comfort him with mum's words " don't worry , if you love her, you will know that she still loves you. Dont be sad" ...
OMG! This is like so confusing but then it really made me cry like ****
T^T anyways , it's good that it's just a dream. I hope that it will not happen and seriously don't want that to even happen! Bye~ and this is really just a dream! Not real!